This game… isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. But, since I figured it would be a steaming pile of poo, that’s not saying much. They emulated ME gameplay (as I feared), but did attempt to simplify it to suit a phone. I was dreading dual thumbstick movement, and was pleasantly surprised when I waltzed into my first battle and immediately stuck to cover. Good plan game! Moving from cover to cover was a simple swipe. Awesome! When an enemy gets close enough, you can tap on them, causing your little brosef to pop up and start shooting, and you just have to aim him. It was slick, had minimal thumb-involvement, and I liked it! You still had to do the dumb dual thumbstick walk when you were moving from one room to another, but that was okay! Sadly, they threw it all away only a few levels in, making you move around out of cover during battle. Well, so much for that. MEI’s critical sin, however, was that it didn’t capitalize on the one thing it should have: ME’s gorram story. What the hell is the use of poaching the ME title if you aren’t going to capitalize on something that we already care about? All of the shoddy gameplay would be forgiveable if it just had a story that even deserved to be the ME Plot’s sweat towel. But no. The story was shit, and the voice acting and script was like something from the old House of the Dead games. But worse. And not even funny.
System Played On: iPhone
